I am happy to say that I survived my bad self yesterday and am so happy to still be here in existence today!! I feel so much better about things, not really cause that much is all that different.. well at least not that I can see. I am going to believe that my admittance of struggle in yesterdays blog was a good step toward creating something better.
~ Of course the first step is the admitting part.. and in a pretty public setting.. I might add. That was pretty scary, and my feelings and emotions were so raw and I shared them to the world!! (At least the part of the world that is reading this blog) So I am very proud of myself for taking that risk and sharing.
~ The next amazing thing is that I survived, literally , figuratively and emotionally. Not only did I survive, but I accepted my humanness, embraced my flaws and wrapped my arms around all of it by speaking it out. I really was just being real and really had no intentions of learning anything from it (in fact I was a bit freaked out after I posted it, to be very honest). However if there is one thing I have learned over the course of a year is that speaking my truth is essential to my well being.. it just is.
~ I love this little curly symbol that I keep typing, and I love that I get to see it when I push the <shift> key, because I believe that to shift something really can be as easy as pushing a button, it just really depends on us as to how big that button seems.
~ I learned a couple things about myself in light of yesterdays experiences; or I should say I RE learned them. I need to talk things out in order to get the negative energy out of me. I am certain that talking them out in the form of writing in this blog is a great step, but having an actual person to share with creates an intimate experience that I long for and yet am super scared of with some people. My sweet daughter Brooke took the time to let me talk to her last night. She is always amazing to listen, give me feedback, let me cry and swear and be whatever it is I need to be with no conditions. It is so amazing to have her! I know that I needed support and that asking for support in and of itself is something I have struggled with yet it is something that I will continually strive to do. It gets a bit lonely on the island with no one else invited.
Well that's pretty much it for this post, I really just didn't want to leave all that stuff on the page without updating my current state of being. I'm really happy that I have a new perspective today, and honestly.... I think for today ... that is enough.
