Random Ramblings

"Sweet Thing!"

• Being "out there" is really scary!
• Wearing dress pants is super fun.
• Irony is all around us.
• 15 yr old teenage boys are so  irreverently hilarious, I wish I could be one for a day!

Being out there is really scary:  I shared with my Body Bliss classmates last night that I was blogging and realized halfway through class that doing so was causing me some serious gastrointestinal stress! The thought that someone might just read my blog and not like it... I can tell myself it doesn't matter, but it really does! Of course I want everyone to like me, and to have someone not like me or think my writing is horrible or just not like what I'm saying, well I guess initially that felt really scary.  Its risky to put yourself out there for others to judge, my stomach was really not prepared for that risk.  Believe me, it rebelled with considerable discomfort all night long! I kept telling my tummy it would be okay, that we would make it through, and after spending about 2 hours in the "facilities" last night, I think my tummy finally believed me.  Whew...!

Wearing dress pants is super fun: Well, yesterday I wore dress pants to my job interview and Suzanne commented last night how cute they were, and I really felt cute in them... I did!  Today I had another job interview and I wore a different pair of dress pants, and I felt so very business like and official, like I was a real business woman! I went to the store after my interview and had so much pride in myself, and walked with my head held high... I'm just sure people walking by thought "wow, she must be a real career person, look at those awesome dress pants, I wished she worked for me.".... when I got home I didn't change my super cute dress pants, I just changed my shirt and took off my very official business jacket and hung it up.  I will have to go buy me some more dress pants, I think they are my new sweatpants. At this very minute I'm cuddled up on the couch typing... wearing you guessed it... my super cute dress pants.

Irony is all around us: Do you ever notice that you always have more time to do projects when you are working full time and fit them in to your schedule; than when you lose your job and have nothing but time on your hands? I just cannot manage to fit those projects in... between stressing about finding a job, and applying and interviewing for jobs... I am just plum out of energy to do much else. 
So yesterday at my first job interview, I was seriously jumping up and down inside during and after, I felt so good about it until I started really thinking about what I communicated as far as what my specific skills are.  The interview today actually went better in retrospect, yet I was much more subdued and direct in what I communicated, and the "high" of the chase just wasn't there today.  I really want a job, and I know if I get either of these jobs I will be so  happy, but I really thought I aced the interview yesterday.... until I got one day of perspective to reflect.  It's really amazing what the filter of perspective does for us.

15 yr old boys are so irreverently hilarious:  Taking my son and his friend to the skate park today my son just starts making random comments like; "wow, have you ever noticed that when you roll your window down, ... it actually goes down into the door?? It doesn't just disappear!" I laughed hard, then his friend hollers out the window at another boy "hey there sweet thing".  I know its probably wrong for me to encourage this unruly behavior, but I couldn't stop laughing. Could you see someone my age doing that?? In that instant... I really wanted to try it out, just to see how it felt. 

One thing for sure that hasn't changed... waiting for something... or someone  is STILL absolutely unnerving, I know I have to wait til at least Monday to find out if I got either position I applied for, and its driving me crazy! I want to know NOW! I guess I'm closer to being a 15 yr old than I initially thought....