Its everywhere I look...

It would be so much easier if I didn't see it everywhere I look, sometimes I see it even in the mirror as I am putting on my makeup to fit in with the world.  I go to the park or the mall or the grocery store and see emotional pain, so much pain in the faces of so many women and girls. The little girl at the store with her Mom; who was busy working with the salesperson to be approved for a store credit card; who was dressed to the nines in jeans and boots that were stylish and current and in fashion. She looked at me, and I smiled at her, and I wondered if she was OK in her world. I held her gaze, and tried to penetrate her soul with my stare, to let her know, that I know what its like , and that if she needed a friend, I was there. I see things in crowds and notice things no one else pays attention to. The little girl at the party, that cringed when her sister said something embarrassing, and because of that embarrassment could not think of anything else to say when it was her turn to speak. All she could do is stammer something and try to cover up her flushed red cheeks. I see the little girl, who is much too grown up, for her age and I wonder why? What has this world done to this sweet beautiful innocent little girl? Is it because she sees her Mom putting on makeup, tight fitting clothes and high heels and the one thing she is sure of is that someday, she will be just as beautiful as her? Or is it magazines that are strewn around the house carelessly, that showcase airbrushed models in very few clothes flaunting the perfect skin, hair, and body that breaks the innocence down to nothing? I see it in the old, and I see it in the young, no one is immune to the effects of this monster. Lost innocence. Lost childhoods. The world is full of mini grownups, that have no idea what they have missed out on. Where is the frivolity that once existed so long ago? The innocence of a little girl, kicking the dead leaves on the ground, walking alone up a quiet street and singing to herself. Or a little girl swinging on a swing at the playground at a nearby school, twisting around and around in circles and whirling in the wind with her arms held out,  pure joy and elation showing on her face,  faster and faster she goes! No threats, no danger, nobody there lurking in the shadows, just waiting to steal innocence.The image that haunts me more than any other is of one particular little girl, she couldn't have been more than 8 years old with long brown hair that hung down and shielded her eyes from me while she played silently with the toys at the special office. The office that I was at with my little girl, waiting for her to tell her story to the nice detective and lady assistant. It hit me instantly as I watched this little girl, and I wondered what had happened to her, where was her mother, and why did she have to be there? Tears stung my eyes, and I felt such a profound sadness throughout my body, my stomach churned, and my hands were shaking. I couldn't take my eyes off of her and I knew in that moment that all the pain I had felt and fear of intimacy and isolation, that somehow through that little girl, it would all be okay. It was right then that I knew that I would go to war for any child who was a victim. I drew my sword and spear, and stood up in the face of the ugly monster and said NO MORE. I am no longer afraid, or helpless, or unable to speak or move. Nothing about speaking out is nearly as scary as seeing that helpless little girl in that office, and knowing how many more out there are just like her. I was an eight year old little girl once too, a terrified, dirty, unkept,  poor little girl without hope, without innocence, that felt so very alone in such a big scary world. Its for these little girls that I speak out, and for that scared, timid little girl with big brown eyes and long tangled brown hair, that lives inside of me safe and warm, where no one can hurt her anymore.