Its a good day when....

Its a good day when you get to hang out in your jammie's all day and contemplate life and relationships and how incredibly blessed you are for so many truly awesome life changing experiences you have had. I am totally in love with my life, and not  because it is perfect by any other standard than mine and Gods. I have truly awe inspiring conversations with my children and husband that usually involve some bodily function, or some new way to be completely grossed out, on a daily basis. Last night for instance, after my sweet daughter got home from boyfriends house, (see my last post for details) my husband, our awesome kids and I sat on the couch eating dinner which consisted of peanut M&M's Kit Kat minis and a giant bowl of ramen noodles just to add a little nutrition, and we laughed and joked around and talked irreverently about facebook posts from nasty boys, how we would be considered completely inappropriate in society terms, and enjoyed each other immensely! Now many of you may think I'm making this up, that I should have some kind of a response other than pure joy and love from this behavior. Sadly, I really try to shy away from guilting myself about the way we exist in our home.  Our household is really not the model I dreamed of having, or believed I should have for many years. My kids are awesomely individual, and super fun to be with, and amazingly grounded, my husband is the number one initiator of such inappropriate conversations, and I just sit back and laugh, turn red, get embarrassed and try to cover up how completely uncomfortable I am when the conversation turns to anything of a sexual nature. We are pretty open when we are together, and my kids are older, and we all know that we all know what sex is and we are all not going to pretend like its not going on. It really takes some getting used to. I came from a very closed mouthed family when it came to sex, or your body or the pleasure of having a body that does such cool things. You just did not talk about it, unless it was in hushed reverent tones, that made you feel like you were in church or should be in church.  Yet I knew my body was pretty cool at a very early age, and it wasn't cause my Mom explained any of it to me. I found out all on my own. And yet I felt very ashamed of my body and my sexual energy, it was not OK at all to talk about it, feel it, or be with it. My husband on the other hand asked his Mom about everything, no shame involved, and she answered him very honestly and openly. He was very young when he had sex for the first time and he grew up just fine. He has a very healthy sexuality, and is not afraid at all to talk to anyone about it. It is just another part of life. I share this only because it explains alot about how it is I have been able to heal from so much sexual dysfunction experienced as a child and carried into adulthood. But that story is for another day, its time for me to slave away in the kitchen preparing tonight's dinner, maybe snickers bars and red licorice would be nice for a change.