Live like you are dying

The 28th of this month will mark the year anniversary of my Dad's death. It has been hard to learn to live without someone that has been in your life for so long. I cannot say that my heart is any less broken, or that I miss him any less, or that a day goes by that I don't want to call him up just to hear his voice and tell him about my life and my kids and my brand new grandson. I long for him still so much,  it just hurts. It makes my whole body hurt when I think about the loss, and I wonder how one can go about living despite feeling so incredibly empty.

I was reading today about the people who have been given the tainted steroid injections that have caused the deadly Meningitis outbreak and how incredibly difficult that would be to not know if you were one of the ones that were given the tainted vials. In the article I read it explained that those affected could have been injected up to 6 months ago, yet not every one that got the injection will be affected and not all that get sick will die.  because it is a case by case situation depending on the health of the person who was injected, all the people can do is just sit back and wait and monitor their symptoms. How awful! How do you go about living in a situation like that? Just waiting and wondering and feeling every ache and pain and minor headache and knowing that any day now you will be one of the victims that get sick and possibly die.

Just go there for a moment. Put yourself in their shoes. What really matters in light of imminent death? Who do you talk to and spend your time with? Does it really matter if the house is dirty or the laundry is piling up, or the windows need washing? Or your house is decorated and decked out for the upcoming holiday? How about that client at work, you know the one that complains all the time no matter how much time you spend with them. Is it really that important to stay that extra hour or two at work to finish that project? Is it really worth what you miss out on?

My Dad was sick for a long time before he died. He struggled with so many physical issues that could have put him down in bed. The truth is, he suffered alot, and not many of us knew he was suffering. He was a man that loved living, and he chose to stay engaged in life, even though he was in pain and his body was giving up, his spirit never did. He fought through the pain and discomfort to spend his last months with the people he loved the very best, his family, his kids and grand kids and close friends that he served in life. He lived life to the fullest, and in doing so gave us an amazing model of how to live our life, even when our body is ready to give up the fight. Even in the very last fight on this earth, when his body was gone, his spirit fought on, and in doing so, he gave each of us a wonderful gift. I treasure those final moments I spent with my Dad, and recognize that in those last moments he was once again showing us the true nature of his loving and giving spirit, and showing us, one last time what kind of person we can be.

 Live Life to the fullest, Live every day like you are dying.
I love you Dad!