Love is in the air..

What's not to love about Valentine's day? It has always been one of my favorites! When my kids were little, I used to scatter the little candy hearts around the house and tell them that St. Valentine came to visit them. They always loved scurrying around the house to find the candy in the most curious places.  My kids are almost all grown now and I still love to give them valentines every year! A little note to say I love you, or a candy bar with a note that says you are my sweetheart, I'm so glad you are my son or daughter!

 One of my favorite memories is the year my son brought me a dozen gorgeous peach colored roses and a card for valentines day, it was by far one of the sweetest most memorable years I have ever had! I think I still have the vase they came in, and I'm pretty sure I kept the dried roses for years.

This year, my daughter is spreading the love and making all kinds of preparations for her boyfriend to make it the best day of love for him. I have been sitting here watching her for the last 2 hours make a valentines box like the ones we used to make in elementary school... I have had  a grin on my face the whole time and she keeps asking me if I'm laughing at her. I have to admit, it does my heart good to know I have passed this tradition on. I couldn't help but chuckle because she said " I just love doing this, it reminds me of being a little kid again, and I loved being a little kid!" My heart just burst with joy to hear it!

 So often we get hung up on the bad parts of childhood and forget that we all have  memories that we can and should cherish from when we were wee tykes. If we don't have any memories or find it difficult to remember, then its never too late to start making loving memories now that we can cherish in the moment.

I saw my little sister the other day and we were talking about how to learn to love and take care of ourselves better. We understood each other perfectly, knowing that as kids, we both felt alone, and on our own and all we ever wanted was for someone to take notice and love us. It is these hurt little ones from our childhood that are longing to find their way back into our hearts and souls. The raggedy ones, the scared ones the angry ones that were not so easy to love. They (our little selves) show up in our lives now many times just to be kicked out and rejected again. It is the much more grown up adult parts of ourselves that do not want to accept the little ones and are fearful of what they represent. The parts that are vulnerable, scared, lonely, needy,  helpless, mean, impatient, stupid, violent, sexual, ugly, poor and sickly. Now as adults, we look at these traits with disdain, we find no place for any of them in our professional or "grown up" lives, in fact some of them do not serve us well at all. Yet each one may represent a part of you that is repressed, or hiding and afraid, that is longing for acceptance, approval and love.

I have made a decision to find my hurt little selves, to explore how they show up today in my grown up life, to love and accept them and invite them to come back home. I want to do this because I believe that it is in the acknowledging and accepting of these parts of my inner self that will eventually allow wholeness to reside within me, and help me to express myself as I truly am, without fear or shame.   I am much more than safety, much more than the acceptance of others and much more than what others see on the surface. I am so much more than what shows up daily in an effort to be what others think I need to be, it is for this reason that I celebrate today! It is for this reason, that my heart is expanding at this very moment.